I know you’re there behind me but I ain’t moving til the road is clear, got that? So why the hell do you beep your horn at me just because I won’t do a suicidal manoeuvre?

These are the questions I ask everyday while waiting to turn into a busy road or pull onto a roundabout here the Gulf. If you don’t go within 10 seconds, road clear or not, some twat behind you will start beeping their horn.

There’s a wonderful hand gesture in Arabic called the ‘Shway Shway’. It involves putting all your fingers together as if you were holding a small flower. This means wait, hold on, don’t be impatience. Inshallah I will move.

They love their horns in this part of the world. Car suddenly stopped in front? Go for the brake? Nah, go for the horn first. Traffic jam? The horn will clear it up in no time. The horn can dissolve traffic.

Here’s some great Middle Eastern horniness from Iraq. It’s incredible how they don’t crash into each other. Maybe its the horns…